Am I proud of Pride?

I remember writing my first actual VN: Blood in the Wine. It was a thrilling, exciting opportunity to work with some really talented people from a supportive community. I made it simple – one character on the screen, one background, one conversation. And so, imagine my surprise when I learned that there is a jam for projects like these, though with slightly more restrictions. Immediately I had an idea pop up in my mind: a lone passenger in a train, with only her phone and limited time to make a call. It's a short moment for a short game. How hard can it really be? I made something like this once, why not go for it second time?

I started going through all sorts of free assets. I wanted it done in a day – no looking back, just typing until I exhaust the word limit. I found out how to put music in – something that Blood in the Wine lacked. I took out my trusty calligraphy nib set and tried my best to make something that looks, at least vaguely, like a logo. I wanted it to be, at least partially, my work only. I was proving myself to myself. You can say that this was the matter of my own pride.

I don't remember that day very well, save for moments of frustration. The logo didn't want to cooperate. The code, despite being the simplest thing possible, managed to still fall apart. Setting up a page is my worst enemy – I hate writing summaries so much, and what screenshots do you include when your game is 1000 words long? When I released it to the world, I didn't expect a lot.

And yet, it somehow hit pretty well. Hell, I even got two (2) recorded playthroughs of it! I'm teaching myself how to not cringe when I hear the words I wrote being said right back at me. I cringed when I realized how abruptly the music ends, though; same with forgetting to tidy up some menus and the lack of credits in game itself. Lesson learned – don't rush. Make sure everything is in its place. 

I don't want to fix it all now – I have another jam on my head after all – but the amount of people telling me that it's good, that I should expand on it, that it's relatable to them, this is something that nulls the pain of knowing that I allowed those glaring mistakes to exist in the first place. 

Am I proud of Pride as a game? No.

Am I proud of Pride's writing? Maybe.

Am I proud of Pride's story? Yes, I can safely say that I am. As long as resonates with people, I fulfilled my duty as a storyteller. Thank you for playing. Keep your head high and your voice loud. 

See you this month.