Hi, Naarel here!

So, as you might know, I did actually try to make the soundtrack for "Convergence" myself. I also promised that it'll be out on its own soon, and yeah, there it is! If you somehow wanted to check out specific tracks, go ahead, check it out (I think it automatically plays when you open the link though, so, be careful lol)

Since it's out now (though I certainly need to take more care of the page), I thought I'll give some of my thoughts about the tracks, what stories are behind them and... stuff like that. 

Ah. Obviously, spoilers. Be careful.

General thoughts.

I have no idea how making music works. Well, I kinda do, considering I actually made it, but I have no background in making music, no knowledge of actual music theory and no formal education. Most of the soundtrack was made in a very short amount of time, more of a "hey, what if I did that?" fashion more than anything. It's there just because I could. Could it be better? Probably! But I treated it more as a dare, a way to have some fun, and I did have fun.

As it was already noticed, the tracks share similar progressions (is that what it's called?), and that's for two reasons: 

1. The suffering of Hext family comes all from the same source, echoing through every trouble, struggle and pain they experience. The similarities in the tracks are highlighting just that.

2. It was really made in a short amount of time, so it was just a time-saving measure lol.

Now, with that out of the way, time to move on to the tracks themselves.

Legacy (A Nightmare from Another Realm/A Dream of Another Life)

So, first comes the Legacy pair; I'll refer to them with Nightmare and Dream respectively. 

They're a duo. There can be no dreams without nightmares, after all. The Nightmare version is supposed to be heavier than the Dream version (Nightmare is the version you hear in the main menu).

I'll be honest with you, I didn't think about those two a lot. They were the first two tracks I made and back then, I was just playing around. All I wanted was to have that string sound, you know. Vibe. There is one thing that was deliberate and thought out though, and it's the, uh... drum sequence at the very end of the tracks.

In Dream version, it basically goes dum-dum, dum-dum, dum-dum. Kind of like a regular heartbeat. Hope's still there, you're alive and well, dreaming of a better future maybe.

But in Nightmare version, it goes dum-dum, dum-dum, dum-. Unfinished. No hope, no love, no life, no future, all gone, despair.

Dramatic, I know. Let's move on to something more interesting.

'Till Dawn Does Us Part

Oh boy, here we go.

One of the parts of Convergence are the two entries from the diary of Earnestine Lorraine, and this track was made with her and her story in mind. See, she's been living in my head for quite a long while now. I have about 5k word long (unfinished and ongoing!) google doc with her diary entries (which I'll never release because they're... not safe for work, for some part), which I was writing when I got too stressed about developing Let's Get Bitter Together. I didn't want to make this story about her but it'd be hard for me to write about the concept of convergence and Hext family suffering without referencing her, since she became a symbol of it for me and she was the one who made me think about writing Convergence in the first place.

To summarize Earnestine's lore: her family basically treated her like air, since she showed no sign of being able to enter Oneiron. She wasn't allowed to do a lot, and so, she more or less spent her days on daydreaming and reading, fantasizing about a perfect lover coming to the mansion and finally being able to be loved and appreciated. One day said lover arrives and Earnestine, completely aware that it's just something she imagined, goes fuck it and enters this odd relationship anyway. The thing is: it stops just being her imagination at some point. The general consensus in the Hext family is that she somehow harnessed the usual power of Oneiron and basically made him real. It's hard to say what is real and what isn't when it's confirmed that even dreams are tangible and what not.

Okay, okay. Back to the track. This one features two "voices", one higher, one lower - Earnestine and her partner, taking turns, completing each other, until it's only Earnestine remaining because, in the end, it's all just her. It's more or less a... sonic representation of the need for love and companionship. It's the yearning. This family lacks love and it's been like this in 18XX, it's still like that in 2013. Earnestine's wishes for a better, more loving future are only coming true almost two centuries after she's gone.

Oh gods. Maybe let's move on.

I Called for You from Every Corner of My Dream

This is basically Blythe's version of 'Till Dawn Does Us Part. They're also filled with the need to love and be loved, not just in the romantic way. I firmly believe that you can love your friends and family deeply as well, and I truly think that they always loved Eva (Will they still love her this way when they'll meet again? Who knows!), and that they were loved by her in return. If you played Let's Get Bitter Together you know that Blythe never stopped searching for Eva, even though they were somewhat convinced that she was just made up by them. I guess Earnestine made an imaginary person real, while Blythe convinced themselves that a real person was imaginary all along. Something something weird parallels.

So in this track, there's just one voice, going from left to right and right to left, calling from... well, calling from every corner of the dream. It's representing the same desire to be loved, but there's also some hope that someone might eventually answer. Blythe doesn't really lose that hope. 

break the cycle fuck gender fuck expectations

THIS ONE. THIS ONE IS MY FAVORITE.

I'm not even kidding, I was listening to this one on repeat at one point to hype myself up. I even plan on making an even more aggressive version of it in the future.

Every other track is more or less... "classical". Strings and pianos and bells and what not. But this one? This one is electric, this one is wild, it's purposefully made faster than all the other tracks. Even though the guitar still somewhat follows similar progressions as all the other tracks, this one is rage incarnate, it's supposed to be different. The goal of this one was to stand out from the "traditional" tracks and to be a representation of what happens when you can no longer contain your pain and desire for things to be better. It's also the feeling that you get when you aren't feeling understood.

A part of the inspiration for Convergence were the talks between me and my mother. I won't be talking about the intricate details of our talks and arguments because this isn't the point.

See, my mother is trying to understand me - to understand my point of view, to understand my transness, to understand my feelings. But in the end, she doesn't know how to do that. From the talks we had, it seemed like nobody ever made any effort to understand her, and in return, she never learned how to do that. Due to the differences we have and due to that, the discussions we have can sometimes turn... really angry. We both try to understand each other but we can't. This track is basically that frustration and the anger which comes from it. This track is yelling at each other even though you'd rather want to talk things out.

Oh gods, it got personal. Time to move on.

Where Two Lines Meet (A Call Answered)

There's not a lot I can say about this track. It's the one that plays during the credits sequence, and it's basically I Called for You... with the voice removed. I wanted to make an actual, separate credits track, but I was running out of time, so, you know. 

From the "narrative" perspective, the lack of voice here is a representation of how Blythe, at the moment, doesn't have the need to call and beg for love. They believe that they'll receive it. They believe that Meredith will confront her own demons and finally let herself feel. They believe they'll find Eva again and reunite with her. They will finally be able to stop hiding the changes that come from their convergence, so, they'll be able to be themselves openly. So, there's no need to call out for love. It's there.

Wow, uh... didn't know eyes could sweat... anyway, onto the last track.

The Liminal Heart

This one was meant to be longer and more elaborate, but... well, it seemed just right that it was more stripped down, I suppose. There's not much I can say about this one. It was meant to be somewhat... ambient? Weird? It always felt somewhat broken to me. It feels like dissociating, it feels like not being real. It feels like not belonging anywhere. I think this is exactly how every Hext felt like. 

Liminality is a very fascinating concept to me. The whole Oneironverse is inspired by the various liminal spaces from my own dreams. You know the feeling that comes with looking at the usual "liminal space" image? That odd feeling of familiarity, that thought that this is a place you could remember somehow, from distant childhood maybe? No matter who you are or where you are, some of those images are going to be familiar to you. I named this piece "The Liminal Heart" because I believe that the feelings which I put in this entire game, even though they might not be something you experienced, might still be something that will resonate with you in a way. Liminal feeling. A strange familiarity.

Do I even make sense? I sure hope I do.

So, anyway.

Thanks for reading! I'm not feeling all that great at the moment but I really wanted to let it all out. I hope it somehow deepened the whole experience? If it didn't, then it's okay too. I'll try to learn more and experiment so I can continue making my little soundtracks and get better at it. It hits different when you can infuse it all with your own stories...

Again, thanks for playing, thanks for reading! I'll see you in Ivehorn soon.